i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
