I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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