I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
