What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
