Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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