You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
3pm strippers are depressing
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I wear drunk well.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
