....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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