I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
