I wish i was in the wii world.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
