i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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