i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize