he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
