Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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