My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
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