i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
