I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
