The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
