now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
that is very illegal...i love you.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
