do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
