it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
