my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
