too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
