i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
He called his prostate his "boner button".
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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