I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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