Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
