I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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