New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
