So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Me too!
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
