i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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