The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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