In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
