so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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