Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
