My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
this will be a night to untag.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
