There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
