No stitches, just platelets and will power
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize