I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
