i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
