So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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