Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
