I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
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