my vag is so smooth its legendary
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
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