yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
