I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
