Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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