My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
