You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
