Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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