I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
