I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well I just put wine in my tea
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
