You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
