my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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