i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
