ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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