Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
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