Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
