its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize