it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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