we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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