im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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