I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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