i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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