evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
