My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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