we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize