i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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