Nicole vs. Life
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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