Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
