At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Randomize
