well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
